Spice Girls - Christmas Wrapping

merry xmas

Skin

Skin... the body is a beautiful canvas!!!

Behind the scenes

Club life

Who is to blame!!!

Who is to Blame?

A few weeks ago, I blogged about people keeping you in a box and then ascribing labels and meanings to who you are.  I spoke of how  much I hated it but then, today, I was looking at pictures of "Vanity".  She also has been someone I've blogged about admiring.  The "character" of "Vanity" is something use to connect to so deeply.  I felt that her sexuality was her power as if she was some superhero able to destroy men with her wiles and sensual ways. I loved that.  For years, I've spoken of my connection to this persona, "Vanity"- even today giving homage.

Something - that something being God said to go to Denise Matthew's facebook page and look around. So I did.  We all know she's now an evangelist, so what was I looking for exactly?  I went to her website for her upcoming book, "Blame it on Vanity".  A very well done website that had me a little captivated.  Denise is not longer in the "Vanity" box we still try to put her in.  That life, that time wasn't what it seemed.  She is Denise, a child of God.  She is a woman that has overcome drug addiction and kidney failure. She has freed herself from the box but then, why do I still need her there? That's the only way I can look at it.  The character of Vanity holds something endearing to me that may not be healthy.  Hmmmmm.....on Denise's website she puts the definition up for "Vanity"


It reads:

any thing or act that is vain, futile, idle, or worthless

So if words have power, imagine calling yourself, "Worthless" daily.   

Do I see myself as worthless? No but I remember having a need for sexual power. I remember seeing it as some very crucial thing to have and to use it in very strategic ways.  It was probably at a time when I connected most to this character named "Vanity".   All of this is reflection and some revelation.  Maybe God wants me to see that I've changed as well.  I'm no longer the character I've created in my head and to remember this wonderful, focused, faithful Shaela of today.  I'm not in my box.  I'm free.   I need to free Denise in some ways.  So many reject her wanting to be away from that persona because of the memories they've had.   As I want freedom, at its most basic levels, I must respect the freedom of others to evolve and grow as they chose, even a celebrity I may never meet.  She has written a book about her freedom, "Blame it on Vanity".

God is amazing how he will speak to your soul.  Blame it On Love.

I'm Back!!!

6 Things Grown Men(not boys) Should Know When Dating!!!

6 Things Grown Men Should Know When Dating

by LJ Knight on Wednesday August 18th 2010

They always say that men mature at a slower pace than women. I tend to think that this may be true and that it unfortunately crosses over into the dating realm and how men behave while they are on a date with a woman. Whether it’s conversation, attire or attitude, some men just can’t quite get it right. So we decided to compile a small list of dating tips that every man should have mastered by adulthood. Ladies, feel free to add on…

1. Conversation

Every man should know how to have a conversation while on a date. There is nothing more annoying to a woman than being on a date with a man and listening to him talk about himself for 2-4 hours.  Patiently waiting for him to ask about you and it never happens. It is a turn off because it gives her the impression that you not only do not care about learning more about her, you also have no real interest in her as a person.  It could make her question why the hell she is even out with you?

2. Know How To Plan A Date

Being able to plan a date from start to finish is a sign of maturity and thoughtfulness in a man. When I was in the dating world it would annoy me to be out with a guy and he would have no idea as to where we were going for the night or what we were doing. I would be thinking to myself “didn’t you ask ME out?” If you did ask her out then you should at least make an attempt at planning the activities for the night. If you are afraid that you might plan something that she does not enjoy then a good tip would be to find out. Ask her what she enjoys doing for fun, places she like to visit etc.. This goes back to being able to hold a conversation and not talking about yourself the entire time. Practice those listening skills fellas.  Sadly there are some men who have no idea as to how to even make reservations for dinner.  Tisk, tisk, tisk. Another key to planning a date is to know how much you are willing to spend. What is within your comfort zone?  SideNote:  Every date should not consist of sitting in your apartment watching DVD’s. Try harder.

3. Dress For The Occasion

Being able to change your attire per the engagement is also an important element to dating. It can also be a complete turn off to see that your guy is the only man at a high class restaurant with lime green  Air Force One sneakers on his feet.  A man that can adjust to his environment, internally and physically, when necessary is yummy.

4. Explore Different Dating Arenas

Only going to the movies and out to eat on every date is so 1997. Show her your diversity. Show her something that she has not seen before at least once or twice while dating her. This is what makes you stand out among the crowd of other men who might be attempting to court her. This is what helps to make her see you as “special” or “different”. It can also help her to consider you to be a “thinker”.

5. Differentiate The Type Of Woman You Are Dealing With

Not every woman is going to go for the same old game or approach that you have been running since you were 17. She might not like you referring to her as “baby girl” or “boo”. She might want you to refer to her by her name only in the beginning. I can recall being annoyed with guys who did that because I KNEW it was game. I knew he wasn’t calling be “baby” with any sincerity because he barely knew me so obviously that is a term that he referred to all the women he was dating as.  However, this reference might have made other chicks giggle and think that they were “special”. Don’t be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone. Be yourself however know that every woman is unique and not everyone is going to go for the same jokes, same game, same lines. There is going to be one that finds your “routine” stale. If you don’t then you will eventually find that one that will look at you like you are a Tommy Hilfiger Jean suit.  In other words, she will think you are played out.

6. Pay Attention

Pay attention to her body language and queues. This will guide you in knowing your limits with affection with her, if she is comfortable with you, if she is enjoying herself. Pay attention to her. Women love to know that a man is giving them their undivided attention. It lets us know that you are genuinely interested in us.

Boys vs.Work

I'm grateful for everything I have but sometimes it gets to be a bit much on me,the pressure is crazy to say the least...maybe i work to much travel,and too much of a free spirit but after the last batch of guys i dated,im giving myself a long break from relationships...

Blur!!!

L.A.D.Y Vanity checking in!!!

Vegas!!!

Gay pride w/mama tracy

Starting my mini world tour!!!Where in the world is Waldo???

cool is

The other woman

Being cheated on sucks, no holds barred. But what is the reality? What does or did she have, that you didn’t? How did you lack? Did you lack, or was she this evil entity that ruined your relationship with nary a thought, only fixating on your man because she couldn’t get her own? Is she a sly dog that crept up, and preyed upon him, when you were having problems? When he was vulnerable? Ha. Keep telling yourselves that, ladies. Keep creating a witch, instead of dealing with the fact you stopped meeting his needs and someone else started fulfilling them.

Venice beach with mama tracy!!!pt:!

Welcome

lady Love:Is twitter killing your relationship?pt2

There are many advocates for Twitter, but the drawbacks are plenty.  Yes, you might actually stay in touch with your family on a more regular basis, but you can also find yourself suffering from cravings or depression if no one contacts you.  Twitter addiction could destroy your relationship.  Look at Jen Aniston and Jon Mayer.  How romantic, going on a date with someone who’s describing their feelings to the world, instead of telling the person across from them.  That lack of personal connection increases the chances of a break-up.

How is this affecting communication?  Compiling all of your thoughts into 140 symbols, every time you think, is good for self-expression.  Sacrificing your realities, however, into sound-bytes isn’t.  As if we weren’t dumbed down enough by abbreviations and lack of real contact, we have less space and time.  There’s also the fact that social networking sites were already hotbeds for opening the cheating door.  Twitter doubles the speed, doubles the fun.  It allows for a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it transgression.  And don’t forget that the details can be publicized after, to entire communities of people.  Quadrupled humiliation in a fraction of a moment.

Twitter might be the little black dress of gadgetry at the moment, but it won’t be long before someone comes up with even shorter, faster communication.  Perhaps one day soon it’ll be the freshest, hottest trend to just send electronic grunts, reverting back to caveman speech.  Via technology.

Lady Love:Is twitter killing your relationship?pt1

The popularity of Twitter is twinkling some eyes, while tweaking anger in others.  If you don’t Twitter, you’re painfully uncool- just take a look at the Twitterati.  Twitter can be addictive, fun and give you connections.  But can it affect your relationship?  The good and bad news for romance:  the Twitter singles scene is the new hot spot and already makes claims on success rates.  On the other hand, with Twitter there’s a new, faster way to be cheated on by your tweetheart.
Naysayers call it ‘blogging on amphetamines,’ but there are some benefits.  Staying in touch with and meeting people seems to rank highest on the list.  In other words, you’re never alone nor are you lonely.  While a lot of social sites are good for daily contact, Twitter is minute-by-minute.  For relationships, it’s a way to spend consistent time with your love when you’re apart.  With a new romance, it’s similar to speed dating, but sped up.  In business, those that Twitter have an edge on those who don’t.  Bloggers report an increase in visits, since the Twitter messages are so short,  leaving readers curious for more information.

Lady Love:What is love pt:2

I’ve had blind dates
Hooked up with some real flakes
I’ve gone out with church boys, musicians are the worst
I’ve tried so hard
Cus i’m just so die hard
Try my best to play the part
Wish you could see inside
www.musicloversgroup.com

But i wish, for so long
For someone to come and show me, me by example, cus i’ve been waiting
I’ve tried every age
I’m so tired of the game
I wanna be somebody’s girl

Would you show me the way..

What if,
I never find and i’m left behind
Should i keep hopin for love
What if,
I’m still the same,
Status doesn’t change
Gotta keep hopin for love

What is love?

Lady Love:Self-Esteem

Most every woman has at least one thing about herself that drives her absolutely nuts. Maybe it's that back fat that snuck up on you after your last child was born or that regrettable hair cut and dye job that sent your tresses into permanent shock. Whatever it is, you can't seem to get a handle on it and all those seemingly flawless women on television and in magazines aren't helping your plight or your self-esteem.

Many times, when your self-esteem suffers, so does your sex life. A man can sense insecurity a mile away and, though your husband may try his best to help you realize just how beautiful and perfect you are, if you don't snap out of it, he'll begin to see what you see.

Insecurity is one of the most unattractive traits in a woman and no man, no matter how much he loves you, can make you love and appreciate yourself more. How you feel about yourself depends solely on what you do to improve the quality of your life.

For women on a budget, don't think that self-improvement has to cost you more that a little time and effort. If your issues are physical, you're in luck, because physical transformations are some of the easiest to perform. A simple girl's makeover night can do wonders. Drugstore products and a little bit of smart shopping at discount stores can make any woman feel brand new.

If your issues are psychological, that's okay too, because there are professionals out there trained to help. Between local free services and your insurance, you can afford to get the help you need. Point being, do whatever it takes to make yourself feel better; it'll help your marriage and help your husband feel better about you.

Lady Love:Love Vs Money

In a time when we are all taking a new look at ourfinances and spending, how important is it that both you and your man not only pull your own weight, but also have the ability to carry one another? To be even more specific, how damaging to a relationship is it when it's the woman who makes and spends the most money?

In my younger years, I believed love was impossible, therefore, it made more sense to date a man based on his income. As I grew up a bit, I realized that love is available to me, and that men with boatloads of money come equipped with the most unbearable egos! So, I chose love over money and never doubted my decision.

But recent events and conversations with friends have made me wonder: when a man is not the breadwinner, at the moment, does this not bruise his fragile male ego? And is the bruised ego of a man who can't "take care of" his wife more dangerous than the inflated ego of a man who can?

In a perfectly traditional world, husbands would provide for their families, and wives would either work for their own sense of self or stay home and raise their children, but the pressures of the world would fall exclusively on the shoulders of our men. Some of us do not live in that world.

So, can we live with one over the other when neither love nor money is all you need to stay alive? As I am finding, you kinda need both.

LOVE?pt1

People told me,
I should write a love song
"Girl you sound so angry,
You could use some variation"
But I'm lonely
Negative relations
I've been hurt so many times
I don't have the patience

But I've wished for so long
For someone to come and show me
Lead by example
'Cause I've been waiting
I've tried every age
I'm so tired of the game
I wanna be somebody's girl
Would you show me the way?

What if I never find and I'm left behind?
Should I keep hoping for love?
What if I'm still the same?
Status doesn't change?
Gotta keep hoping for love

What is love?

Step into my world...

Welcome and thank you for living,loving,and laughing,with me.
shaela chanel